I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
