Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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