they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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