just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize