Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Randomize
