Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
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