I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Randomize
