Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Couch. On fire.
Randomize
