So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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