But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
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