seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Randomize
