sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
