i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
