PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
And then he peed in my hair
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