We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
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