You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
