guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
