hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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