brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
