Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
