I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
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