You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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