Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
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