so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
