Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
