you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
