my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
