I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
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