I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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