like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
where am i from again
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
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