dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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