He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Randomize
