Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
