i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
