Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
