i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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