Soap is not a condiment
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Randomize
