Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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