Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
He better not be in your backpack
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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