are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
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