I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
