If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Randomize