I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
