Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Randomize
