OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Randomize
