can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
