Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Randomize
