hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
40s are totally the cure
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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