After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
