So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Randomize
