My first STD was from a foam party
My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
