We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
