My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Randomize
