i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
is that a dick in a sweater?
You are a genius and a whore.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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