her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Randomize
