break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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