so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
