too bad you live with your parents still
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I lost the right to judge tonight
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
