Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
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