Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
